when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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