They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
