Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
