I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
