We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
