god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend