Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
If that was your dad, he is hot
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again