hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
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At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
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She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.