i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We got so high we made milksteak
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.