There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients