i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
