Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
