just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
