in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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