all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
