OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
nutella sex= disaster
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
