is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
