and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
