Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
