'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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