we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
