I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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