i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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