Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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