It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
