Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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