You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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