Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
