i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
