Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
