You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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