so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
