Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
