When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
