We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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