I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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