im six kinds of drunk right now
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
