one two three fourrrrnication!
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
