Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
