Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
