the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
i think my cat just said my name.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
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