just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
