How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
