I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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