You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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