I'm pants shitting drunk right now
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize