Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
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