As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
