i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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