She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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