you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
