sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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