i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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