I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
