I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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