just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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