I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
