lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
