my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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