he wants to bone in the snuggie
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
